Let me tell you something: after my divorce, for about a solid year, I was becoming the best version of myself. I paid no attention energetically and emotionally to what people thought or said about me and I was relentless about achieving my deepest passions. I knew when to separate my emotional well-being from situations that slightly tampered with it. I started to feel that sense of deep safety and understanding in oneself. However, somewhere along the road, I compromised my values and boundaries. Infecting the version of me that fell in love with my soul, allowing an ounce at a time of negativity trickle down my spirit. It immediately summoned the little dark, insecure girl that was caged-screaming for her freedom and safety.
I don't believe that I had genuinely healed within, more so at a superficial level enough to start feeling good, and then I stopped. Recently, the universe has forced me to get back into a space of selflessness and absolute selfishness -the zero F's given divorcee that would wear a sheer see-through black suit with spanks to a party packed with judgment and not even notice the stares because she is so busy enjoying her eclectism. Expressing self-resilience and gratitude to the woman who knows her worth enough to get what TF she wants out of any interview and then bargain for the best offer that suits her ( more to follow). It feels so good to be back, well, almost entirely back.
Guess when I knew I was back? Let me tell you all about it; as you all know, I left the army life and transitioned to a more abundant life with the freedom to pursue what truly makes me happy. Yes, being in the IT world pays the bills, for now, but it has never been my end goal. I recently quit one of my IT jobs; I resigned because my mental space fucking matters more than some stakeholders making cash from my labor; while I was at it, I nailed a couple of interviews that started off offering a much lower amount. By the end, all three companies offered almost double their starting pay and competitive PTO. Listen, take what is yours. It's a trade and a batter. They take your time and energy; you take their money, and it's a win. I have never felt more liberation,that little dark-skinned girl feels excellent; she's safe. So I share this to say the time is ticking regardless of how much people pleasing you do or how little you pay attention to living the life you love. To put it in perspective, if you drop dead today, a replacement will be hired before you are buried-so wake up and stop worrying about what b*tches think. Run the show.
I love you; thanks for taking the time to read and consume this content. Remember to check out my podcast @Unsingular on Spotify and several other streaming platforms.
Today's mantra: I live a life of love, abundance, and peace, and I embrace my phases of growth and self-acceptance.