PERHAPS it was the time when I noticed the major differences and incompatibilities but ignored them or the time when I let my feelings take over my logic. But looking back where those feelings or an imagination of what I thought it was -or what I hoped for? Perhaps It was the I showed my vulnerability let my guard down and revealed my desperation. Or perhaps it was because I forgave too many things and his little red flags to grow bigger-the lies, the porn, the anger, the affairs, the manipulation or perhaps it was again a figment of my imagination perhaps there was never an actual story there. Perhaps, the universe knew Exactly what it would look like and allowed out paths to cross, perhaps just to make these two beautiful boys and go our very own separate paths. But our paths Ever be separate -goodness i hope so -that thought ran through my head as I sat in DIV R. Perhaps there was never a marriage jus a wedding.Never love just sex. Never compassion just sarcasm. Perhaps it was just a life lesson and the little red flags were always there and perhaps the red flags weren't little they were big bright and pretty obvious. In the grande scheme of things , I was still seating on the bench alone, I did not meet the one I will be in LOVE with yet, I may have felt love but I was never IN LOVE and perhaps the bench feels pretty darn amazing.