I've been studying my zodiac sign, personality traits/types, and different temperaments on a larger scale to view myself as a blank canvas and other people in said manner. Occasionally, I have struggled with rejection or feeling unprioritized by people I deeply care for. Still, as I continue to check with my parts #IFS, I give myself and the people in my life grace. Relationships are harder to build when we are older. That is a fact. Whether toxic or not, we tend to circle back to childhood friends and past relationships. At age 28, I went through a season of pure guilt and feeling unworthy. I thought I was the sole cause of all my uneventful relationships. I started reaching out to random people apologizing for not being a good enough friend. I was also surrounded by people who made me feel I was the cause of my issues, as perceived. This mindset is deadly to our character and self-worth. We bring value to every relationship we encounter - I don't believe that there is one person so damaged that they aren't worth making genuine connections with. There is always room for growth and maturity, but the thought that you are the sole cause of all your issues is BS; nobody has that power. Now I understand the true meaning behind relationships, and I am in touch with my boundaries and how I will allow anyone to treat me or speak to me. I try not to take it personally, but I know that 'not everyone is for everyone,' Elle. Compatibility stretches regarding who we prefer to share coffee with on a Sunday afternoon. After going through a divorce, the thought of being abandoned again can hold you, hostage, so much so that you end up holding on tightly to the relationships in your life. Still, letting go gives us room to build a healthy relationship with ourselves. I am an extrovert and one of the most personable humans on earth; I bet I can hold a conversation with a tree; because of that, I move my schedule around to accommodate everyone, but lately, It has been freeing to allow myself just to BE and only hold space for the people that hold space for me.
Today's Mantra: I will allow myself to BE and only give thought to the things that feed my body, spirit, and soul.