2 min read

THE FEAR OF UNCERTAINTY

THE FEAR OF UNCERTAINTY
HER DOUBT TRIGGERED HER GROWTH

One of the many reasons why I chose to stay married was the fear of financial instability. We had just moved to a new state, bought a huge house, and were about to welcome our second boy. Leaving from two paychecks to one meant I would need to make some major financial cut backs-less vacations, fewer mani/pedis, fewer wine tastings, fancy dinners, hair do's, and less shopping. I dreaded the thought of now being able to take my kids on a spontaneous trip to the zoo, theme park, or museum or purchase an overpriced toy just so they can play with it for precisely 3hrs then never care to see it again. BUT NO! one beautiful morning I refused to accept that future for myself- my life was meant to be lived in fullness and my kids will not wish they had Christmas presents because their parents did not make it as a couple. I said F that and started brainstorming several ideas; well maybe I could get a weekend job as a bartender, or a waitress at fine dining, perhaps I could renew my nursing license and work PRN on weekends - all these required me taking more time away from my babies as if being a soldier did not already guarantee time away? I cringed at the idea, tour the page, and tossed it in the trash. After brewing a strong coffee, my brain cells wanted more stimulation so I opened my dairy and began a second brainstorming session- well we could sell plates of African food on demand I told my mom- she lit up at the idea but it still didn't make me feel safe. I heard a voice so clear like my spirit soul and body agreed and I knew just what to do like I felt it so strong in my heart and I just knew it was the right thing for me and my boys. I called my sister and an old friend and shared my Exciting new idea with them. They gave me the AFFIRMATION ( one of the many things I am working on) that I needed. My point is when you face fear, doubt or uncertainty don't consider that a stopping point, don't take the easy route, and don't do what feels comfortable- Embrace the challenge, brew some coffee and get to work. MY LOVE, you'd be surprised at the amazing ideas that have been tucked away when you brainstorm. You deserve what you absolutely love.