I was reviewing my IG feeds from almost a decade ago, looking at how lean I was, thinking about how hard I worked to maintain a particular body type- not necessarily for myself but for the importance that I had placed on my physical appearance with little to no regard for my emotional/psychological wellbeing. It was die-hard at the gym for 2-3hr workouts, and I felt like a freaking wonder woman. After having two kids, you don't exactly have 2-3hrs hours to give to the gym, especially when you juggle a full-time job. After my separation, I felt absolutely DEAD- the decades I had invested in my physical fitness did not matter at all. It was as if I had thrown my 20s away. Nobody tells you this, but nothing is hotter than a young man or woman who is emotionally healthy, understands their boundaries, is independent, self-sufficient, and owns their identity. That is the entirety of my platform-Elle's forum. It's essentially self-discovery, partially navigating through the phases of my 'LIFE.' I looked back, and all I saw were fucking stretch marks, flapping skin, and uneven pigment. More importantly, a crap tone of emotional stress, and sadness, like deep sadness, the kind that makes you break out and eat pounds of ice cream. There was no room for alcohol because I was pregnant when he walked away carefree. WTF? I thought all these years of lifting freaking weights, eating clean, Intermittent fasting, and cardio, suddenly everything was unessential; nothing mattered. We place such high importance on Sh*t that does not matter. WOW. Well, This is IT. I thought maybe I'd vent my heart and free my soul from the burden of some level of anger, pain, resentment, and perhaps a little uncertainty ahead. I now know that my mind, soul, body, and brain feed off the energy and vibrations I allow in my space. No amount of cardio can replace a good mindset shift.